Weird Weed Headlines, Volume 1
While the legal marijuana industry is making great strides each day, there are still some folks out there who are giving responsible users and producers a bad name — or who are, at the very least, making us laugh.
In this first installment of a new series called Weird Weed Headlines, we’ve collected a few examples of the world of weed at its weirdest.
Smuggled Ford Tough
If you’ve even bought a vehicle from Ford, you’ve probably considered options like a sunroof, leather interior, or zero percent financing. Well, this summer, qualified buyers almost had an opportunity to take advantage of another incentive: free weed.
Not once, not twice, but three different times, marijuana from Mexico was found smuggled in shipments of new Fords.
In May, 22 new Ford Fusions in Minnesota were found with their spare tires removed and replaced with more than 50 pounds each — or a total of $1.4 million worth — of pot. A few weeks later, another $1 million worth of weed was found in Fusions at dealerships in Ohio and Pennsylvania. Then, less than two weeks after that, another 277 pounds of marijuana was discovered in railroad cars used to ship vehicles from Mexico to metro Detroit.
Ford is working with the FBI and customs officials to find the smugglers, and while nobody has been arrested, the company has been able to confirm that the weed wasn’t packed at its plants or internal shipping yards. Their only conclusion is that someone is intercepting the shipments somewhere else along the way and packing them full of weed — someone, apparently, with a whole lot of weed and enough cash not to care about losing a bunch of either.
A Mountain High Enough
Climbing a mountain can deliver a pretty big high. Smoking weed while doing so, on the other hand, can be a pretty big mistake.
In September, four men climbed England’s highest mountain, got high, and then found themselves unable to walk. Cumbria police were called at around 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday night after the group got stuck atop a 3,210-foot peak. Officers, working with a mountain rescue team, brought them down to safety at 9:45.
While none of the men were ultimately arrested, they were subject to a little ribbing via the police force’s Facebook page.
“Persons phoning Cumbria police because they are stuck on a mountain, after taking cannabis,” wrote a police spokesperson. “Now having to deploy [mountain] rescue, air support and ambulance to rescue them. Words fail us ...”
Words fail us, too.
A Top Drawer Response
At roughly 11:20 p.m. on June 20, a police officer in Port St. Lucie, Florida noticed a “suspicious vehicle/parking violation” involving a Chevrolet Silverado. Upon pulling up to the vehicle, the officer smelled marijuana. Both the driver and the passenger were found to have pot and taken into custody.
Prior to the arrest, the officer extracted a bag of weed from the passenger’s “groin area.” According to the police report, the passenger claimed that “he didn't know the cannabis was on him because he recently changed underpants.”
The suspect didn’t elaborate on whom the underpants belonged to. And, frankly, we don’t really want to know. His story is already pretty much perfect as it is for Weird Weed Headlines.
Please Give the Man His Bong
*In a Jerry Seinfeld voice* — What's the deal with pot and underwear these days?
A Canadian man claims that police wrongfully arrested him for possession of marijuana last October. He says they seized his bong and weed, and he wants them back. And how does he plead his case? By standing outside the courthouse wearing nothing but shoes, socks, and — yes — a pair of tiny green underwear.
The man, Jeffrey Shaver, says he smokes pot to treat his anxiety, depression, and back pain. The arrest in which his stash and bong were seized happened at a nearby hospital.
"I was having a panic attack and I was brought there and I had an issue with the vending machine and I was charged with trespassing and causing a disturbance by yelling," he said. "They asked me to leave. Police arrested me and searched me."
Shaver says that while most of the people who pass by him are supportive, one pedestrian suggested he put on some pants.
Yeah, man. Please do.
Stay tuned, another installment of Weird Weed Headlines will be out soon.